Sitting in the restlessness can make you more grounded with others.
When the possibility arises for you to spend an evening alone, what is your first thought? Perhaps some feel a sense of missing out on what others are doing. Others might fear for their physical safety. Some might fear their own thoughts, yet others might embrace the need for self-reflection.
Although I can relate to the fear of being alone in an empty place, particularly after watching a creepy movie, how we relate with ourselves alone can ground us in a world that might seem chaotic. The more secure we are in being alone, the less tumbled we are by external forces. …
It did with me this week.
My 15-year-old dog took a turn for the worse early Sunday morning. In fear, I rushed him to the emergency room and was thankful that he could be seen right away. After the doctor gave me her initial report, the front desk called me with her estimate of my dog’s plan of care.
The high estimate was $4300.
My heart sank, knowing that this would not only deplete my savings, but also my monthly responsibilities to my bills. People assume college professors are affluent. That assumption is often incorrect, especially for me. …
It wants what’s best for you.
My senior dog’s heart condition drags me out of bed at 3 a.m. After taking care of his business, I retreat to bed, of course bringing my phone. I order the senior dog some more of his senior food.
I check the news. Looks like Warnoff won a Senate seat. I might have to wait a few hours to hear about Ossoff. Stacy Abrams really knows how to get things done.
Let me check Instagram before going back to sleep. Wow, that’s a beautiful picture from National Geographic. Trevor Noah cracks me up. …
Satire
If only job ads could tells us what they really want from us.
The Department of Name Your Major is seeking candidates for the position of Assistant Professor. We are looking for a highly talented and dedicated individual who will spend countless hours feeding the beast. We especially desire candidates who work well with others and possess integrity, although eventually we will promote candidates who step on others’ toes and throw others under the bus. We value hard work, but we can only pay you a salary that will encourage you to teach extra courses during the summer to help you pay the bills.
We believe the right candidate should adhere to the three pillars of higher education — teaching, service and research. Your teaching load will be more than you can handle, but you honestly don’t need weekends anyway. …
It might even help you finish it.
I am one of the world’s biggest procrastinators. I can’t tell you how many projects I’ve started but not completed. In fact, I bought a book on procrastination and didn’t finish it.
Working in the news industry didn’t allow me to procrastinate because each project had to be finished by 11 p.m. — or sometimes earlier. Big projects that took several months or years were more difficult. The only reason I finished my Ph.D. in three years was that I was tired of the meager graduate school stipend.
I’ve been working on the same project for about eight months now, and you’d think that the pandemic would give me ample opportunity to finish it. No. I’ve spent more time doom-scrolling about COVID-19 and the U.S. …
Hint: It’s not all about you.
When I was a kid, my neighbor took me to her bible class, where we watched a video that still sticks in my mind 43 years later. It depicted a young man attending his Sunday services, singing praises to God, and showing his affection to his community.
Once he left the church and arrived at a stoplight turning green, the car in front of him didn’t move. Impatient, the man yelled out of his window, “The light isn’t going to get any greener!”
This depicted an inconsistency that might exist in all of us. For the man, he was a devout Christian while at church, but once he encountered resistance, he wasn’t very Christ-like. …
You just need a life.
One of the health incentives at my former job was to schedule a call with a “health coach.” This person would ask me several questions regarding my lifestyle, like how many servings of fruits and veggies I got per day and how often I exercised.
On the overall health assessment, I typically scored “above average,” although my feelings about my job actually pulled down my score. Yet this “health coach” wanted to give me some advice about how I could incorporate more vegetables in my diet. It was basically 15 minutes of my life wasted.
My friend Jennifer and I used to laugh at these so-called “health coaches.” We knew that they didn’t hold a medical certification of any kind, but they probably appreciated the title on their LinkedIn profile. The advice they would offer was rather mediocre, and it was usually something I could read in Prevention magazine. …
We’re not living authentically if we overly identify with our social roles.
One of my former students, a popular Instagram figure, had painted beautiful murals on the walls of her apartment. When it was time for her to move out, she had to repaint the walls white.
Although it somewhat pained her to cover her beloved lion mural, she gave her viewers a lesson in non-attachment. “The lion is still there, knocking around,” she said. “He’s just wearing a mask.” However, we do this ourselves throughout our lives, painting various layers over our true selves.
The problems with our masks
We put on various masks to shield ourselves from the world. We put on several masks to define “us” in one context, only to put on another mask to define “us” in another. …
It creates just enough discomfort so we don’t make the choice again.
My student came to my office 45 minutes after the end of class. He wanted to talk to me about the term paper he had just submitted. He told me that he had someone help him write it. Knowing that he struggled with writing mechanics, I told him it was always a good idea to have someone look over his paper.
He still stood there with a pained look on his face. Apparently, there was more. As his eyes welled up with tears, he confessed that he paid for someone to write his paper.
Although I had to turn him into the dean’s office, the dean was more concerned with the student who took money for writing his paper. She had denied writing the paper, and her parents had hired lawyers for her defense. …
What the Trump Administration and a dutiful police officer can teach us about our choices.
Franz Stangl considered himself to be a man of duty. He started off as a police officer in Austria, and his faithful service would gain him one promotion after another. He would eventually become a key leader responsible for the deaths of almost a million people during the Holocaust.
In an interview with British journalist Gitta Sereny, Stangl said, “This was the system.” At his trial, he said he had to accept his various promotions out of fear for his family’s life. Each appointment meant further compromise of his ethics. To reduce his cognitive dissonance, he saw his victims as “cargo.” …
