Transforming your Mindset: The Key to Better Relationships

Like attracts like.

Beth Bradford, Ph.D.
3 min readMay 27


man and woman embracing on a hillside
Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash

“Men suck.” “Women are crazy.”

Do you hear this often in your circles?

I remember about 30 years ago, I said, “All men are jerks.” Mind you, I was still in my 20s.

My friend, a male, said to me, “Do you know every man in the world to make such an assertion?”

I growled at him because I wanted sympathy, not some philosophical bullshit.

But I’ve found, through both experience and reading books from various philosophies and spiritualities, that the world confirms your beliefs.

In other words, if you believe that men suck, you’ll only attract men who aren’t the most kind. And if you believe all women are crazy, then you’ll continue to attract crazy women into your life.

You can even have a gang of friends who validate your beliefs. You sit around and commiserate with one another about how this person is crazy, this person is mean, or this person did you wrong. In the meantime, the world is going to continue to prove you right by bringing all these dramatic people into your life.

It’s only until you change your attitude that decent people will start showing up. Like attracts like.

On the other hand, you also have to ask yourself what YOU are doing to have these people act crazy. If you find yourself attracting crazy or dramatic people in your life, are you treating these people with the respect that you want for yourself? If you’re asking yourself, “Why does this always happen to me,” then ask yourself what you learned and have changed from the last time this happened.

Oftentimes it’s easier to put the blame on someone else for the problems in a relationship rather than accept our part in the problem. If someone else is always the problem, then we don’t have to change. However, if we don’t accept our part of the problem, it’s just going to crop up again in your life.



Beth Bradford, Ph.D.

Former TV person, college professor and media researcher. Ironman triathlete, meditation teacher and yoga instructor.